loosening the grip.

Here I sit, on a misty Saturday morning in a musty ol' garage, sniffling from the years of mildew that has been locked up in this place, listening to the birdies chirping from the nest that has been built in the rafters, watching people look through our stuff, cringing at how much is stacked in this garage, wondering how at one time we thought we needed all this, recalling the following words from small notebook's post months ago... I think I get it.

Where were you when you made your big life plans?

When I was in college I spent many late nights...talking about our current lives, our classes, our hopes and dreams, and where we would go next.

The possibilities were endless and overwhelming. Where might we live?

Would we get married? 

Where would our job paths, career plans, families, and adventures take us?

No one of us ever said, “I hope I have a big house full of things that I bought just because they were on sale.”

We never talked about our intentions to own so much stuff that we would spend our free time trying to organize it all.

No one said, “I hope my future kids have so many toys that they can’t pick them up because it’s just so hard.”

Why do we trade in our goals, hopes, and plans for things that will eventually end up in a garage sale or in the landfill? We’re pulling thousand-pound baggage behind us as we go through life thinking about the next thing we can add to it! Stop doing that!

I still love fluffy white towels, knives that are sharp enough to slice, and tote bags. Yes, I love special things, especially tote bags. But I hate the idea that someone would trade in her special hopes and dreams for something that can be bought.

I like my stuff, but I am SO OVER IT. 

Give me passion, pursuits, wholeness, healing, compassion, mercy, reconciliation, audacious goals, beauty, love, grace, kindness, tender touch…

give me those instead, and 

let me not be distracted by anything less.  

- Rachel Meeks

I like the way she thinks.
I am done spending my time shuffling around stuff to make room for more stuff. I long for these boys to grow up valuing more than merely that which money can buy. I want to look in my closet and be overwhelmed with the blessing of options I have, that it doesn't matter that I haven't bought clothes in a year.  I still have a shirt to put on!

Feeling like my stuffs had too tight a grip on me, last June I decided not to buy any clothes for one year.  It's not that I was all up-to-date on the hottest trends.  It's just that I didn't need anything.  (Except one shirt, on sale for $5.  I cheated, 'cuz I needed that :)  Not buying clothes wasn't the point.  The point was that I don't like the feeling of what we own owning me.  There is a difference between buying a new pair of jeans because the knees blew out in my old ones, and just being so used to looking for deals that it didn't matter if I needed it or not, it's on sale!  I am embarrassed that there is a table in our garage sale of clothes that look barely worn when I recall sitting with the girl in the yellow shirt in a South American orphanage, because that's the shirt she owned.  


You know what? After a year, I still don't *need* anything.  A few more years of this, and I may be nominated for "What not to wear."  But that's okay.  As long as my heart has changed, until I am no longer distracted by anything less...


{I could go into a rambling of disclaimers, like how I don't mean for this to make anyone feel bad about buying clothes (please don't hear me say that - no judgment here. at all.), or to say I am so sorry if you are in great need.  There is HOPE...I have seen people in deep poverty with smiles on their faces bigger than an American with all the trinkets because their treasure is in nothing this world has to offer.}  Jesus is our only hope, and how RICH are we when we can sing from the depths of our heart "Hallelujah! All I have is Christ! Hallelujah!  Jesus is my life!"

Those are just some dreams of mine from this musty ole' garage.